I had one of the best times in a movie theater last night seeing Troy with Cliff + The Barbin Clan (Luke, Lori, Jaime and Dr. Gary K. Barbin). And not because it was a fantastic movie but because it was horrible and we got to heckle it the whole time. It was clearly obvious to all of us that this film was targeted towards 1. gay men, 2. women and 3. gay men and women who have no taste. And because I know most gay men and women have good taste, they all came to see some hot bare ass since nothing else decent is in theaters this weekend. But there isn’t much Helen of Troy’s bare ass.
In fact, this was the first film I have seen since The Full Monty which showed more raciness with the male actors than the female. Yes, this film was definitely the daytime soap opera version of The Illiad.
Best jokes of the evening:
“What’s with the fallic barricades on the beach, this ain’t Normandy people…”
“They’re getting it from the balls of fire”
“Ahh how cute, Legolas still knows how to use a bow and arrow”
“Brad’s gonna show her his sword after he’s done showing us his ass”
“Laaaa, whooooooooo, ahhhhhh ahhhhh ahh leeeee ohhhh” (mocking the lame score)
“Take a drink everytime you see a burning body funeral ceremony”
“Take a drink everytime you see bare man ass”
“Immortality!!! It’s Your’s!! Take IT, BITCH!”
I’m not hip to The Illiad but I would like to think that Orlando Bloom’s pussy of a character (named Paris) is what Paris, France is named after. It’s just so…FRENCH.
Yeah, unless you have a big group of friends to go heckle this piece, I’d avoid it like the plague.
I was just listening to Ivy - Edge Of the Ocean