How to Be Funny When You Are Incredibly Good-Looking
ByPaul Rudd , actor, ‘The 40-Year-Old Virgin’Comedy has always imperiled the attractive. Don’t think I don’t know it. Yet what rarefied air! To go where eagles soar. The greats: Grant. Beatty. Redford. The master classes: ‘Bringing Up Baby.’ ‘Shampoo.’ ‘Barefoot in the Park.’ Still, lest you fly too close to the sun, mind the wing-melting failures: ‘Operation Petticoat.’ ‘Ishtar.’ ‘Legal Eagles.’
Alphas, I give you reason to rejoice! After years of study, I have come up with a near-foolproof guide for those, like me, who bear the unwished-for burden of physical near-perfection.
1. Do a silly dance every once in a while so people think you don’t take yourself too seriously. (Once, in an audition, I threw caution to the wind and danced an impromptu ‘Macarena.’ Yes, I lost the role of Oskar Schindler, but I gained the respect of an industry.)
2. One thing you can control is how to wear your hair. A funny haircut can make a gorgeous person look almost average. Example: George Clooney on ‘Roseanne.’
3. Fight the urge to dress in tight clothing. We know we look good, but remember: sleeveless T-shirts = not funny. M.C. Hammer pants = funny.
4. Here’s one for the boys: Let yourself get kicked in the groin. If Zeppo Marx had taken one to the groin just once, it would have been a completely different story, believe me.
5. Don’t be afraid to manufacture a flaw. Hugh Grant’s affected stammer, for example. Or the famed pratfalls of Chevy Chase, which led a nation to wonder, Yes, he is a hottie ‘ but does he have some horrible inner-ear problem?
6. In the same vein, spit takes and flatulence are always funny, regardless of how chiseled your chin or glutes.
7. Try alcohol to break down those inhibitions and see where that takes you. Who’s better looking, Jerry Lewis or Dean Martin? Got it? O.K., now who was more drunk? Exactly.
8. Finally, if all else fails, just be ugly inside. You’ll be surprised at the results!
To be extremely good-looking and funny may be hard, but it can be done. Look at me. In some circles I’m referred to as the ’seventh Friend,’ and I’m way better-looking than anyone on that show. If you’re ugly, pay no heed to these chestnuts and relish your unfair natural advantage. But to all you foxes out there, study closely, and who knows? With a little luck you just might be the next Alan Thicke.
I was just listening to Duran Duran - Hold Back The Rain